Monday, September 22, 2014

An Avalanche of Accolades

by Catherine Giordano
The illustration used in "Tips for Writers"

It has been just about four months since I started writing on HubPages (HP). I began because I wanted to earn money, but I stayed for the joy of writing. 

I’ve been told it takes about a year for earnings to happen, but, for me the accolades happened very quickly.  I have reached over 3000 views in my first three months and close to 100 followers to date.  Some of my hubs have been selected by the staff for special recognition. (On HubPages, the articles or posts are called “hubs.”)  

Accolade #1

One of my hubs Inside the Bee Hive: How Bees Make Honeyreceived an “Editor’s Choice” award. It is featured on the HubPages domain where it can get extra attention from search engines.
Accolade #2

About a week later, one of my hubs, Why People Collect Stuff and How You Can Too,was selected as Hub of the Day. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of hubs published every day, so it is an a great achievement to win the Hub of the Day award.  

Accolade #3
I figured that was it accolade-wise for a while.  After all, HP probably wants to spread the glory around.  It is a way to encourage writers to keep writing, especially those of us who are not actually making money yet. Today, I turned on my computer and found I had won Hub of the Day a second time--twice in one month. This time it was Tips for Writers: The Making of a Poem that won.

I wrote Tips for Writers: The Making of a Poem as a way to put some of my old poems to use. I had several poems with a common theme—a love of words—so I put them all in a hub and  wrote some text about how to use the unconscious when writing prose or poetry, and added some pictures. I thought I was just burning off some old poems, but the tons of comments I have received indicate that people really found the hub interesting and useful.  And they liked the poems.

Another benefit: A network of friends. Through comments and other communication and by reading what others write, I have formed friendships with some of the other hubbers (people who write hubs.)  

If you think you might enjoy writing for HubPages, let me know. I will help you get started.

Update 10/15/14:. I had another hub chosen as "Hub of the Day" today.  That makes three hubs selected for this honor within 30 days.This time the hub was  The Resplendent Quetzal: The Most Beautiful Bird in the World. I may be the only person to ever accomplish this. I also got my second Editor's Choice" today, for  my post The Jobs of the Presidents (Before They Were President)

I am an artistic success. Now,show me the money.
Really, I'm getting all this validation on the quality of my writing, but still only pennies a day.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

How to Get Laid Right

by Catherine Giordano

Matchstick man lying down
Matchstick man is lying (not laying) down.

This post is about how to get laid right. Also lie, and lay, and lain. Yes, this question refers to grammar. You knew that, didn’t you?

Miss Grammers is back and she instructs on the confusing lie/lay verbs—present tense, past tense, and past participle. So few people get these two verbs right. Miss Grammers must confess that even she gets them mixed up. Read the post here: The Naughty Grammarian: Lie, Lay, or Laid
CLICK HERE to read the inscription on the back.
With this mug, you will always have the correct usage of lie and lay in your grasp.
 You might also want to read some of these other Miss Grammar posts.

I appear to be having a blue period. “Blue” in the sense of risqué. My last post was about nip-slips and now I’m talking about how to get laid right. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Perseus, Hercules, and the Nip-Slip

Perseus Rescues Andromeda
Perseus rescues Andromeda.
by Catherine Giordano
I have been doing posts for HubPages. They have some strange rules that can trip a writer up. You only learn what the rules are when you violate them. 

I did a couple of great hubs (as posts are called on HubPages), about dragon encounters in the myths about Perseus and Hercules.  I wanted to illustrate these hubs with classical art from Museums. I thought it added just the right feeling to the hubs.  

For the hub on Perseus, I told the story of Perseus’ rescue of Andromeda from a dragon named Cetus. I found a great picture. Only thing—Andromeda is naked. The story specifically describes her as naked, so practically every picture of Andromeda shows her naked. You can see the picture I choose at the top of this post. 

HubPages scores every hub and this one got the highest rating ever for me—a 96.  Then a few days later, I got an email saying that ads on my hub are being blocked because of a content violation.  Naked ladies are not allowed.  Ads are how a writer makes money on HubPages so I changed the picture. 

Ironically, one of the ads was for a statuette being sold on of Perseus, naked, full-frontal nudity.  
Hercules with the Hesperides
Hercules with the Hesperides
After that I did a hub about Hercules.  Hercules goes to the Garden of the Hesperides to slay the dragon Ladon and obtain three golden apples. (It’s his 11th of his “12 Labors.”) Again I wanted to use museum pictures. Again all the ladies had a bit too much décolleté.   

This time I imported the picture into Microsoft Paint, and painted a bodice over The naughty bits. I’m not much of an artist—I should have put in some shading—but I’m hoping no one will notice.    

Read the stories and see the replacement photos:  Perseus  Hercules 

I also earn money from views. So please click the above links. You will enjoy the stories. I tell them with humor. If you go to the hub, please do the polls and leave a comment.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Is it Drug or Dragged?

by Catherine Giordano
Dragged Not Drug Grammar
What is the past tense of "drag"?

I’ve been doing these humorous grammar posts using the persona of “Miss Grammers, The Naughty Grammarian. Last night I finished the post, The Naughty Grammarian: Is it Drug or Dragged?

My work done for the day, I went to watch TV. I was watching Rachel Maddow and she did a story about Ray Rice punching a woman in an elevator. She said the video clip shows “a woman on the ground being roughly drug out of the elevator.” 

“Drug” is NOT the past tense of “drag.” “Dragged” is the past tense of “drag.” 

I think Rachel Maddow is the smartest news anchor on TV. If even she got it wrong, I despair for the English language. Little did I know when I wrote that post how much it was needed.

Please read it and share it so we can get the English-speaking world speaking English.

You may also enjoy these other posts from The Naughty Grammarian.   


Friday, September 5, 2014


Will a lipogram mean progress for me?
I just hit 2000.

2000 views for my "hubs" in HubPages.

I wrote my first hub (a hub is like a magazine article only it is online) for HubPages on June 17, 2014. It took me 6 1/2 weeks to get 1000 views.

Yesterday, September 4th, I wrote my 27th hub. That's an average of 2 1/2 hubs per week since I first started 11 weeks ago.

It took only 41/2 weeks to reach 2000 views. That's progress? Right?

I hoping my latest hub, What is a Lipogram, is a winner for me.  My problem with getting views for my well-written, well-researched, and beautiful looking hubs is that I am writing on topics that are "saturated." This means there are tons of articles on the topic, and I'm at the bottom of the list with thousands ahead of me.

But, there are only a few hits for the phrase "What is a lipogram?" Halfway down the first page, the titles switch from lipogram to liposuction.

Now my only problem is how many people are searching for "lipogram." I had never heard of it before this week. I bet hardly anyone else has either. Even spellcheck doesn't know it is an actual word.

Now that you have heard of it, don't you want to know what it is? Hint: It has nothing to do with liposuction. Click the title below to read it and get me that much closer to 3000 views.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Oh Happy HoneyBee

Bee on a Flowerby Catherine Giordano

As I did research for my article about bees, it gradually began to dawn on me that bees are the most amazing creatures on earth. Read Inside the Bee Hive: How Bees Make Honey and see if you don’t agree.

Also I wrote a little poem about honeybees.  I don’t know if honeybees are happy or not, but there is a lot to admire about their lives.

If you like the honeybee teapot below, you might like to read my article about collecting teapots:
doe poems about bees:  







Monday, September 1, 2014

Wicked Witches Wickedly Funny

Old Witches Never Dieby Catherine Giordano

I wrote an article for the web:

How to Win a Slam Poetry Contest:Old Witches Never Die

I think the title is a little misleading.  I read a poem titled, "Old Witches Never Die" at a slam poetry contest and that poem helped me win--third place but still a win.

The article is not really about how to win a slam poetry contest.  It is the story of how I won and the "how I won" part is just an intro to the poem. The poem uses witches as a metaphor for negative emotions like hate, envy, and shame. It's a really good light-verse poem.

Read it and banish the witches.

Click the link, read the poem, and don't forget to vote in the slamming poll. Thanks.